Selfish

Selfish..penting kn dri..tu lar y mampu aku kte kn pd dri ku ini..hidup terlalu penting kn dri akn byk menyusah kn dri org lain di sekeliling kte terutamanya ahli keluarga kte.tp kdg2 pentingkn dri jgk perlu untuk kejayaan kte..such as in study. we need to be selfish in our study or else we will not succeed..ble kte tgk org lain main2 biar kn jer..jgn pedulikn dorg..n kalu dorg ajak tuk main2 n lpe kn stdy kte, kte perlu tolak n fikirkan mse dpn kte..
well..but today aku bkn nk ckp psl selfish y cmtu..aku ni kdg2 selfish t'utamanya ble aku ngh tension..n ble tu y t'jd family aku kn ssh hati..terutamanya mama n papa..hhmm..ble aku dh t'lalu tension dlm stdy aku kn fkr nk ble ke rumah n xmau duk kt hostel nie lg..tgk blik kt hostel nie pn aku xnk kalu blh..sbb bg aku ape shj y berkaitan nan stdy aku tu kn wt aku tension n nk blek rumah..mcm aku kt matrik dlu..sbb t'lalu sedih n tension sbb xdpt celebrate birthday kt rumah..aku menangis mcm bdk2 n merengek kt mama n papa tuk blek rumah..sdg kn aku xblh blek mse tu sbb esk nye d matrik aku kn ad program y melibatkn sume pelajar matrik aku..disebabkan tu mama n papa terpakse dtg dr kl ke negeri sembilan n tdo d sne just tuk pujuk aku tuk xblek rumah..n celebrate birthday aku kt sne sme2..even though mama n papa dh janji kn dtg ke matrik sehari slps birthday aku t..still aku xterima pujukan dorg smpai dorg dtg awl n hbs kn mse nan aku sehari sblm birthday aku n mse birthday aku..
hhmm.. n today it happen again..i can't take anymore to stay here..stay in uum..i want to go out..i don't want to look at my college or even look at my room..even i stay in my room i feel really tension..i need to go out..i want to go home..most of my friends go back..when raya haji..deepavali..n even last week..all of them go back..just go back without any reason..n without doing their assignment..group assignment..but me..i have to stay in uum even though i have my reason..i miss my mama n papa..but still their not allow me to go back..that make me sad..i was crying badly today just because my parents not allow me to go back..hhmm..that make them really worried coz that happen again n they could not come to see me..then they tell my sister if anything happen to me that make me sad n want to go back badly..hhmm..after talk with my sister..they make their own conclusion that i crying badly n want to go home just because i did not get to eat "DOMINOS"..hhmm..why they think like that..so as conclusion..my parent just give money to use..bank in to me n my sister so that me n my sister can go out n eat "DOMINOS" n buy anything that i want..just do n go anywhere that make me happy back n make me focus on my study back..just that they can to for now..well because i far from they..they can't come here ..come to kedah.. n they can't allow me to go back kl..coz i still need to go to class n finish up my assignment n focus for my final that just around the corner.
well.. i don't care what will people talk about my parents n what people going to talk about me..i known why they do that to me..what had they do for today just to make sure im happy to stay here n focus in my study, so that i can succeed in my future..i as im why im doing what i done today is because i miss my parents badly n i want to see them..i need to see my mom..miss her so badly..in my mind i only can think about them n house..even i can go back just for 1 day..i want it..but the it costly and time..i will wasted my time in bus n i can only can see their face only for few minutes..so it better if i just stay here n focus in my study n wait until 14/1/12 to go back..
i need to wait until that date.. seriously have to wait..from today on im counting the date..if i have the power to fly n go back now..i will do that..but i known it beyond our nature..we can't do that..what can i do now..study, pray to ALLAH for them n do what even i can do to make focus back in my target n purpose im come here..need to do things that will make me near to ALLAH..so that ALLAH can give me a straight to do so..

p/s:counting the date n try to focus in  my goal..